I’m less than 200 pages from the end of Eclipse. This should excite me, but it doesn’t. I dread the end of this book almost as much as I truly dread the release of Breaking Dawn! Of course I want to read them, they’ve become my whole life! But why do they have to end? Why do I have to wake up without Edward (or Jacob) staring back at me?
I think what really bothers me is that I honestly feel happier reading these books than living my life. Is that as messed up as it sounds? I love my boyfriend, but I want my Edward. Is there a difference? I have no idea. I wish I knew what to feel. I wish for some kind of release, but maybe these books are my release. Maybe, these books are opening my eyes to true happiness. Maybe reading these books will encourage me to find/produce true happiness in my own life!!
Then again, maybe I’ll use my History Degree to become an anthropologist and spend the rest of my life searching for vampires… named Edward *sigh*.
Cymbria Said:
on July 29, 2008 at 10:10 pm
While reading you are living in a space free of self public (and self!)judgement and expectation. You have had a taste of freedom, my dear. You have stepped out of your critical construct… and what’cha ya know…you’ve discovered a wild untapped resource inside of you that’s been aching to get out and stretch its legs.
That’s right dudette – joy!